For stressed out parents of adolescents
who want to feel peaceful, confident, and wise
Do you worry about your teen’s well-being?
Do things that once helped your child no longer work?
Do you react to your teen in ways you regret?
Do you get angry and resentful and then feel guilty about it?
Do you find yourself sometimes feeling loving and patient then other times feeling angry and in despair?
Your once sweet child has reached adolescence. You may see them establishing patterns of coping (avoiding, defying authority, shutting down emotionally, isolating, engaging in self-harming behaviors) which can follow them into adulthood and interfere with their ability to live their best life.
Parents are concerned.
Many teens feel emotions intensely. And because they lack the ability to navigate their emotions, they often resort to behaviors to deal. Substance use, avoidance, promiscuity, defiance is often a teen’s unskillful way of dealing with their distress.
A teen’s behavior can set off all sorts of impulses in a parent. Parents can have impulses to fix things, make things better, or yell and get angry. These natural parental impulses which can feel so strong and seem so right, can unknowingly make things worse. For example, giving into an impulse to fix things can create more distress for a teen and leave them feeling incapable. Trying to make things better can sometimes feel invalidating to a teen. Getting angry can create feelings of resentment and sabotage the parent-child relationship.
For more than two decades as an adolescent therapist and after raising three kids, I now know a different approach to parenting teens.
I teach parents how to stop giving into automatic reactions and instead respond in a way that reduces emotional distress and also builds connection.
Over and over, parents share with me how their teen responds more positively, how they feel more confident in their parenting, and how they experience more connection with their teen.
This is exactly what drives my work.
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