SIX HABITS FOR WISE PARENTING

It’s a new year and an excellent time to make a commitment to make positive changes. 

Wise Parenting is a way to create positive change. Not only do parents feel better when they practice these skills, but their teen has the potential to feel better and do better. 

Here are six habits to practice for Wise Parenting. 

Make a daily intention. When parenting a complicated teen, it’s so easy to get caught up in the problem and swept up in negative thinking. This increases the chances that parents will respond emotionally to their teen. Consider creating a morning ritual to create calm and then identify an intention for the day. Intentions such as centered, present, or resilient help promote focus and clarity and increase a parent’s ability to respond wisely. When you notice yourself feeling off track, take a breath and remind yourself of your intention. For more on Wise Parenting, check out our classes. 

 Practice healthy habits. Physical health directly impacts emotional health and good emotional health is essential for Wise Parenting. Consider what healthy habits you can focus on today. Make an intention this year to let go of unhealthy habits. Here are some great podcasts to promote healthier living. 

Shift your mindset. I can’t stand this. I’m losing my mind. The way people think about situations can directly impact how they feel and how they behave. For parents, adopting a healthy mindset can increase their ability to respond wisely. For example, regard challenges as opportunities to learn. Remember that on the other side of adversity is victory. Know that you can look for meaning when there’s suffering. Trust that your teen has challenges, and your teen has opportunities to grow. When you regard situations negatively, you increase your suffering. When you cultivate a healthier, more effective mindset, you increase your ability to live and parent wisely. 

Check out this wonderful book that is chock full of information about cultivating a healthier mindset.  

Unplug. Feelings of satisfaction come from participating in life. It’s tempting to turn to your phone when bored, anxious, or stressed. Instead, create a plan to establish boundaries around your phone. When people unplug, they are more likely to participate in life, an essential ingredient for excellent emotional health, increased feelings of self-worth, and greater connection with others. This year make an intention to participate in life. Go hiking, bake bread, start a garden, plan a potluck with friends, write letters, read a book, start up a hobby. This positively impacts you, models healthy skills, and promotes connection with your teen. 

Need help developing healthier habits with your phone? Check out this book.  

Do one thing every day that you don’t want to do. We are a society where we are capable of achieving instant gratification. Because it feels better to procrastinate, we tend to put things off or do something that feels good immediately. A much more effective and wise way to live is to make it a habit every day to do one thing that you don’t want to do. Not only does this create good habits for yourself, it’s an excellent habit to pass on to your teen. So, say something nice to someone you’ve been avoiding, put on your running shoes instead of sleeping in, sort through the stack of paperwork you’ve been neglecting, have that uncomfortable discussion. After 365 days of doing things that you don’t want to do, you’ll experience a wonderful feeling of accomplishment. 

Want more tips for practices and habits to cultivate healthier living? Check out this website.

Practice gratitude. When people are stressed, they are more likely to notice the negative. This can interfere with a parent’s ability to be effective. Train your brain to notice what’s positive. Buy a notebook and write out a gratitude list every evening. Name five positive things that you learned during your workday.  Notice something positive as soon as you wake up in the morning. Look for what your teen is doing that’s positive and let them know. Here's a helpful article on the benefits of gratitude.

Remember this: Parenting a complicated teen is hard. It’s tempting to notice problems or to give into impulses to fix or manage or avoid.

A much more effective way to parent, is to first pay attention to yourself. 

This year, make an intention to practice wise and effective skills. Do this not out of an intention to change anyone, but out of an intention to live wisely. Others around you will benefit.